When the Clouds are Dark

A contemplative response to troubled times

In our online practice sessions this week, I’ve wanted to acknowledge the deep concern and fear that many are feeling at the moment when the news feels so saturated with violence and conflict, with rhetoric glorifying unrestrained greed and power.

Following the awful killing of Renee Good in Minneapolis this week, I’d like to share a few thoughts on how we can meet our deep emotions, our fear, our grief and sadness; on how we can take care of ourselves and, in taking care of ourselves, be better able to take care of others.

Firstly, I want to remind us again that, however naturally sensitive we might be to the suffering of others, meditation will make us more sensitive. This enhanced sensitivity has always been seen as an indication of progress on the spiritual path. The wisdom processes of meditation soften and open the heart. The healing processes of meditation remove the obstructions from the eye of the heart, so we are able to see with the eye of love (Matt. 7:5; Luke 6:42).

If things are going well with our practice, our capacity to see and feel the suffering of others will be enlarged.

So, how do we live with this increased sensitivity?

The much-loved 20th-century Orthodox monk Elder Thaddeus taught that it begins with taking care of ourselves. We must try to cultivate peace within ourselves.

Having lived through times of great conflict and fear – two world wars, a communist regime, and the Kosovo war – Thaddeus knew the vital importance of taking care of his inner peace. Taking care of his inner peace, he became a bearer of Christ’s peace, offering spiritual refuge to others in times of great chaos. People would come from all over just to sit near him. Because he radiated something they couldn’t find anywhere else.

‘Peace starts with each one of us,’ he said. ‘When we have peace in us, we spread it around to others.’ (1)

Of course, he didn’t pretend this was easy. He understood only too well what it’s like to be caught in the storms of life, external and internal. But he knew there was a way home to the refuge of peace that’s present within each of us, which Jesus called ‘the inner room’ (Matthew 6:6). When our inner peace is disturbed, Thaddeus said, we must turn immediately to God. And help will come. As soon as our inner peace is troubled, we must immediately ask for God’s help, like a child. And it will be given.

During the Vietnam War, the great Buddhist teacher and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh would walk slowly and silently through villages devastated by violence, offering his calm presence. One day someone asked him, ‘How can you be peaceful when there is so much suffering around you?’ And he replied, ‘Because if I lose my peace, I can’t help anyone.’

In his book, Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm, Thich Nhat Hanh writes about how to take care of our strong emotions with meditation. (2)

When we are caught up in a strong emotion like fear or anger, we should not stay on the level of the intellect, of our thoughts. ‘Strong emotions are like a storm,’ he says, ‘and to stand in the middle of a storm is very dangerous. Yet that’s what most of us do when we get upset; we stay out in the storm of our feelings, and they overwhelm us.’

‘We need to ground ourselves,’ he says, ‘by bringing our attention downward.’

‘When you look at a tree during a storm, you see that its branches and leaves are swaying back and forth violently in the strong wind. You have the impression that the tree will not be able to withstand the storm. You are like that when you’re gripped by a strong emotion. Like the tree, you feel vulnerable. You can break at any time. But if you direct your attention down to the trunk of the tree, you see things differently. You see that the tree is solid and deeply rooted in the ground. If you focus your attention on the trunk of the tree, you realize that because the tree is firmly rooted in the soil, it cannot be blown away.’

Bring your attention down from all that is moving within you and focus on what is still and stable and peaceful.

From the mind to the heart

In Christian terms, bring your attention down from the busy activity of the mind to the stillness and peace of the heart. Enter your ‘inner room’ and take refuge there. Practice this, and you will discover that you can withstand the storm and will not be blown away.

In the Gospel of Matthew, we find a story of Jesus teaching the same practical wisdom (Matthew 14:22-32). The dramatic sequence of events provides an extraordinarily rich teaching on how meditation can help us to meet the challenge that waves of strong thoughts and emotions can present to us – how we might walk through the storm and find a place of refuge. (3)

Jesus tells the Disciples to make their way by boat to the other side of the lake. In the depths of the night, at a great distance from the shore, the weather deteriorates, and the Disciples’ boat starts to be tossed about, ‘tormented by the waves because the wind was adverse.’

At this very frightening moment, Jesus comes toward them, walking on the water. At first the disciples don’t recognize him and cry out in fear. Jesus tells them who he is and that they should take heart, have courage and not be fearful.

Peter says, ‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you upon the waters.’ Jesus replies, ‘Come,’ and Peter gets out of the boat and starts to walk towards him.

So far, so good.

When Peter’s attention is fixed upon Jesus (upon the one who is peace), when Peter is completely focused on responding to the invitation ‘Come’, he is able to do something we would not ordinarily think possible – something we might not think possible for ourselves when we are tormented by strong headwinds of adverse thoughts and feelings. He can walk across the waves.

But then Peter looks away. His attention turns to the weather, and seeing the strength of the wind he starts to become afraid, and begins to sink (we all know what it’s like to give our attention to a difficult thought or strong emotion and ‘sink’ into it). With his attention directed towards Jesus, Peter can walk through whatever the weather is doing. When his attention is distracted by the weather and he looks at that, he starts to sink beneath the waves.

As he starts to sink, Peter cries out, ‘Lord, save me!’ And Jesus immediately stretches out his hand and takes hold of him, teaching him with words as if to say, ‘Trust, keep your attention fixed on me, and all will be well.’ They get into the boat together. The wind dies down. The lake becomes calm again.

A refuge of peace

In these turbulent times, we are likely to find ourselves feeling a great deal. Our emotions, which can sometimes feel like physical or mental pain, run deep. But they do not run as deep as we do. In our depths, there is always a refuge of peace available for us. Saying our prayer word, following our breath, we can take shelter in this refuge, even as the storm is bearing down on us.

When we are feeling distressed or overwhelmed by all that is going on in the world, we are not alone. And we are not powerless. In meditation we discover that the source of all peace is within us.

To commit to daily meditation is a radical act. To meditate is to refuse to be governed by the voices of hate and anger in the world, and to align ourselves with peace.

‘If I lose my peace, I can’t help anyone,’ said Thich Nhat Hanh. ‘Peace starts with each one of us,’ taught Elder Thaddeus. ‘When we have peace in us, we spread it around to others.’

However small, however imperceptible the effects might seem to us, when we take care of ourselves, we are also taking care of the world.

This blog is based on one of the teachings given in a recent online meditation group gathering. You are warmly welcome to join one of our future gatherings.

From Chapter Twelve (Inner Peace) in Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives: The Life and Teachings of Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica (St Herman of Alaska Brotherhood, 2009).
Thích Nhất Hạnh, Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm (Harper One, 2012). See the chapter Calm in the Storm.
See Chapter 13, Walking Across the Waves in our book The Missing Peace: Meditation as a Spiritual Path to Peace, Community and Oneness (Canterbury Press, 2025) You might also like to see Chapter 14, Meeting Difficult Emotions.